temporarily, i will leave blogger muna. i want to update my other blog, of which i forgot that existed, over @wordpress. dont worry. for the mean time lang toh...just for update's sake. :) uso naman yung import at export feature sa mga blogs eh. weeh! kaloka ang technology, sobrang advanced, nakakahilo na minsan. hehe. :) tah-tah!

i stayed up from 4pm yesterday until now? la lang. FYI stuff. :)

at some point in my life, i have found myself face to face with a different me. i dont know how it happened but i was shocked myself to see a different me. this post is all about it. listing down some of the changes that i have seen with myself and how did i ever come across that change.

--i have been tempted but i never gave in. usually, when temptation comes around my corner, i cant help but just give in. there is this strong urge inside me that makes me dive and grab that thing. noon, talgang madali akong e-bribe. kahit ano, try mo e-bribe ako, mega GO ako kaagad. pero ngayon, hindi na ako ganun. baka siguro sa mga experiences ko lately, natuto na akong umiwas sa mga temptasyon na sa tingin ko naman ay isang malaking "standing ovation" sa aking self kasi naman, bigla akong nagbago. kahit sa isang banda ay nagsisi ako na bakit ko iniwasan ang temptasyon na yun, kuntento naman ako sa kinalabasan at happy ako. i stayed away from trouble, malinis pa konsensya ko.

--i talk back, but only if i have something to say. noon, megaphone ang dating ko sa kadadakdak ko sa aking mga kapatid. alam ko at alam nila na mali sila pero they insist na mas mali ako. at some point, may mga arguments kami na talaga namang tama sila pero ang paraan ng pagpapahiwatig nila sa kanilang mga hina-ing ay mali. kung minsan, ako pa ang nagsasabi sa kanila na pwede gumamit ng ibang paraan para matutunan ko ang tama sa mali na nagawa ko pero walang silbu yun sa kanila. kasi, paniniwala nila, ang paraan ni hades ang solusyon sa lahat ng problema sa buhay kaya palaging world war I dito sa bahay.

infairness naman, ngayon, hindi na ganyan ang mga tao dahil sa akin. bigla ba naman akong ginawang role model ng bansa? ngayon, pag nagkagulo sila sa bahay, may i shut up and let me go nalang ako sa isang sulok ng bahay, nakikinig sa mga korean friends ko at hawak-hawak ang yosi at mega smokin' coffee sa tabi. ayoko na kasi ng gulo. yun ang new motto ko. kung hindi ka man makasabay sa akin, sa susunod na byahe ka nalang sumabay kasi baka wala kang pamasahe at yun na yun.

--infairness, natututo na akong tumayo sa sariling ko'ng paa. kahit hindi pa ako bumitaw sa parents ko in terms of financial talks, but at least, natuto na akong mabuhay na walang tulong sa kanila (at inuulit ko, except financial as of the moment. naghahanap pa po ng trabaho ang lolo nyo so be patient. 'yaan nyo, libre ko kayo ng coffee sa sweldo ko kapag nakapagtrabaho na ako. hahahahaa. xD). biro nyo, nakaya ko'ng tahakin ang mundo ng CEBU ng mag-isa? at tatahakin ko rin ulit ang lansangan nila ngayon friday. bonggang-bongga na road trip na naman po ito.

infairness, wala na akong masabi na changes sa aking self. sa ngayon, proud ako na na achieve ko na ang tatlong bagay na ito in this juncture of my life. kahit mahirap man tanggapin na nagawa ko ang mga ito, wala na kayong magawa. hindi naman ako kayo. ha? wag na kayong pumalag. kundi, lalaslasin ko ang lalamunan mo. hehe.

*point, clap, clap, point, clap! hooray to myself! :)

ano at sino-sino ang na mention ko sa previous post ko?

sino ang sister ko? siya si Diana Mae Pamela Macdeda-Saguban. yes, she is married to Ralph Saguban (who happens to have the same name with someone, ehem!) and with RR. she supports me with all of my endeavors in life at kahit kaloka xa minsan, love ko xa.

sino si RR? si RR ang engot ko'ng cousin (paternal side). siya ang guide ko the whole morning na bigla ba naman akong iniwan sa kalagitnaan ng colon. joke lang. hehe. nagpaiwan lang talaga ako sa kanya kasi gusto ko rin mag explore mag-isa dun at gusto ko masanay na naglalakad na mag-isa sa napaka-busy na colon. so yun.

ano ang LEAD career movers? isa xa'ng recruitment agency na hindi ko alam na recruitment agency pala xa until sa briefing ko dun. hahaha. xD located xa sa capitol area, likod ng BO's coffee na nasa kabilang side ng capitol road or something facing Cebu Doctors.

sino si Ms.Irene? xa yung nag interview sa akin dun. OA xa magsalita, swear. feel na feel nya na amerikana xa and infairness, id rather say she is malaysian or indonesian or something kaysa sa amerikana. ew! kadiri xa. pero infairness din naman, xe is approachable. hindi maxadong friendly and pagmumukha nya pero keri narin. hehehe. :)

ano ang sykes? obviously, call center xa. wala akong pwede ma applyan as of the moment kasi hindi ako degree holder. kaloka! medyo malayo xa from capitol area. you have to make 2 rides from capitol. first, take a jeep to colon or Sto.Nino church. next, look for an 03A jeep from there and then yun! papunta ka na sa site nila na may Mcdo, BO's coffee at katabi ng building ay may off-roads cafe at jollibee. waah! a couple of reasons for me na ayusin ang interview ko this friday para makuha ko ang job. waah!

ano at saan ang SOUTH BUS TERMINAL? obviously, self-explanatory kung ano xa. south-bound bus terminal xa. i dont know exactly where xa located basta, from where i stayed (Bulacao, Cebu) mga roughly about 20 minutes ang byahe papunta dun (inclusive of traffic at sangkatutak na badjao na nangangaroling at mga nagtitinda ng tubig sa kalagitnaa ng gyera sa highway). dun sa terminal, hindi lang Ceres ang meron. meron din SUNRAYS bus liner at ibang mga bus liners na hindi familiar sa akin kaya yun. hahaha. xD inside the terminal, merong maraming waiting area that i call "pods". you can find a lot of pasalubong stalls inside too. one of which is Mr.Donut of which i mentioned in my previous post too. what else to say tungkol sa terminal? wala! so may i move on to the next item.

ano ang SEAT NO.45? well, upuan xa infairness naman noh. kailangan pa ba e-elaborate yan? well, malapit xa sa 2nd door ng bus. sa likod xa obviously basing on the number 45. 2nd to the last row xa nga mga upuan sa Ceres on the 3-seater side ng bus (and that is on the left side). mega upo lang ako dun ng maaliwalas kasi walang masyadong pasahero and walang tumabi sa akin dun except sa isang bakla na sumakay sa BARILI stop-over na may SHAMROCK branch.

saan ang BARILI? its roughly around 2 hours away from the SOUTH BUS TERMINAL. technically, half-way ng byahe. mega stop ang mga buses jan to rest, mag-banyo o bumili ng mga pasalubong sa *SHAMROCK.

saan ang BATO? approximately 4 hours (if not, more or less than 4 hours pero d naman aabot ng 5 hours. OA na yun) away from the SOUTH BUS TERMINAL. nanjan ang sangkatutak ng barge papuntang Negros Island na kumakarga ng mga Ceres bus at iba pang vehicles and its much cheaper (kung meron kang sariling sasakyan) kung mag land trip *road trip! haha!*. P70 lang ang pamasahe sa barge compared sa barko na P300. mas makaka save ka talaga. proven and tested. meron namang mas cheaper eh. kung sa *lilo-an ka sasakay (before ka aabot ng BATO, more or less 1 hour away) pero at that time na bumyahe ako, wala nang byahe sa lilo-an kasi hanggang 5pm lang sila dun kaya may i go sa BATO nalang. besides, its much faster here kasi around 45 minutes lang nasa negros ka na compared sa mag barko ka, aabutin ka ng 6 hours. kaloka kaya yun? ok go, nahilo ako sa kaka-explain. next item please...

saan ang TAMPI, Negros? obviously, sa Negros Oriental xa. it comes after Amlan (north to south byahe) and comes right after San Jose (south to north byahe). may pier dito papuntang Cebu which is more accessible by travelers that are going NORTH at yung mga merong sasakyan. kaya yun. enough na. pareho lang sila ng BATO, CEBU. *sigh!*

saan ang home, sweet home? syempre, sa bahay ko! bwahahahahahhaa. xD

*for questions or anything else for that matter, please leave some comments if you ever happen to pass by my blog. thanks. -management.

*SHAMROCK. bilihan ng pasalubong/delicacies in Cebu. pinakasikat xa, like BONG-BONG's of Bacolod. pinaka mabentang pasalubong nila are the OTAP, ROSQUILLOS at BARQUILLOS.

*LILO-AN. pier din xa. kaso, bangka ang sasakyan mo dun papunta ng Sibulan, Negros Oriental. Sibulan comes after Dumaguete City, mga approx. 15 minutes lang.

would you believe that on monday night, i was sitting in front of the computer when all of a sudden my sister barged in said to me: "you are going to cebu now and go to that interview of yours tomorrow morning! go get your stuff. we're leaving in 20 minutes".

shocked, my reaction made me jump off my seat and shut down the pc (while standing), got my mp3 out of the USB hub and ran inside the house and packed up some clothes and left.

i left for Cebu at around 11pm and arrived there @ around 5:15am and then went to my interview at LEAD career movers over @ capitol area, cebu at around 9am with RR.

fortunately, my interview went well with Ms.Irene and she referred me to several companies and made an endorsement for me to be interviewed there. one was scheduled on the same day, the other was for today.

the first endorsement that i went was over @sykes. sad to say, when i got there the security was tight. even if i was only an applicant, they want my i.d. for verification purposes.

sad to say, talagang bonggang-bongga ang security sa sykes. as in, kaloka. so after that, i decided to go back home. there is nothing i can do. if i decide to let my sister send me my stuff over at LBC, baka matagalan pa and its not an assurance na makukuha ko ang mga stuff ko before my interview so kaya mega uwi nalang ako ng Negros.

and on this juncture, dito na makakarelate and title ng post.

by 4:30pm im at the SOUTH BUS TERMINAL na. nakakaloka man isipin pero that was my first time there. una, you have to get a ticket or something from a man na nakabantay sa mala-LRT entrance na iikot lang pag naghulog ka ng P5 sa slot. next, you have to get a seat number over at the ticket station sa CERES liner. but, before ka aabot dun, dadaan ka pa sa sangkatutak na terminal pods for designated for other bus liners. nakakaloka. sobrang daming gwapo at sangkatutak naman ang pwersa ni chaka doll.

pero kevs ko! may i continue nalang sa paglalakad papunta sa terminal pod ng ceres and may i wait for a few minutes (kasi that time, ang ceres is already preparing to leave so i only waited sa terminal pod for about 10 minutes or so lang). before ako naka-abot sa terminal pod ng ceres, napahinto ako ng isang bonggang-bongga na stall ng mister donut.

hindi ako matakaw sa donuts or whatever. pero ano ba ang naka-akit sa aking mga mata?

kasi, dun sa mister donut, may sangkatutak sila na display ng hot choco on cups na bibilhin mo @ P18 with the option na lagyan ng mainit na tubig on the spot or bitbitin mo nalang ang cup at bayaran mo tapos umalis ka sa harap ng masungit na tindera. well, ever na ungas ako, i chose to have it filled with hot water na. 'san naman ako kukuha ng hot water kung nasa byahe na ako? duh!

so yun, may i go sa terminal pod and wait. d rin nagtagal, umalis ang bus with me seating at seat no.45! my favorite seat pag nakasakay ako sa ceres.

medyo may kamahalan ang pamasahe. lumalagapak na P177 lang naman noh. *sigh*

ayun, mega byahe na ang lolo nyo. ang nakakabilib na part lang ng byahe ko'ng yun ay pwede lang pala mag smoke inside sa bus. so, hindi inantok ang lolo nyo at mega seated like nasa bahay lang ako dun kasi hindi puno ang bus.

BATO via BARILI.

pinaka stressful trip ever na tinahak ko in my entire life. 4 hours akong naka upo sa bus! i repeat, 4 hours! sobrang sakit ng pwetan ko at may i go with the flow sa bus kung liliko xa from the left to the right then back to the front kung mag brake at umabante. kaloka!

medyo nahilo ako ng konti pero wis epek toh sa akin kasi excited ako na nag take ng trip na yun kasi it was my first time going to barili and honestly, it was road trip galore.

ayun, by 10pm i left Bato, Cebu bound for Tampi, Negros.

nakakaloka kasi i was seated next to an army guy and *shyet!* he was hot. nawindang ang lolo nyo at sa kasamaang palad, hindi kinaya ang powers ni antok at biglang tumulo ang laway ko. the next thing i knew, kami nalang ng katabi ko'ng Mr.Army ang naiwan sa taas ng deck kasi nagsialisan na lahat ng mga tao. so, may i pahid my laway and may i go down the hill to fetch a pail of water.

by 11pm, home sweet home.

im going back to Cebu this friday for the rescheduled interview. wish me luck guys.hoping to get all the support and prayers from you. make me get the job.

CURRENT MOOD: tired.

want to drink coffee and just relax and just wait for myself to doze off. i never really got the chance to pamper myself and give myself the things that i deserve. well, its gonna change soon because the wheel of fate is in constant motion.

one day your at the bottom, the next day you are at the top. believe it!

"i tried to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly, its hard to say that id rather stay awake when im asleep..."

its a line from one of owl city's song titled fireflies.

NP: STRAWBERRY AVALANCHE by OWL CITY (you can also listen to it while you are in my profile)

CURRENT MOOD: HOPEFUL

gosh...there are so many things that keep bothering me and it seems that i cant make the slightest decision towards those things. its as if i were given a choice but actually there are no options to choose from.

its really hard to keep up with the world. you dont know what it demands you yet there are things that tells you what to do but then again, when you think it over and ask yourself, are you ready for that challenge?

well, to answer my own question, YEAH! I AM!. there is nothing that could stop me now and nothing is gonna make me. ungh.

ive noticed that i have been inconsistent with my posts lately and most of them are going way out of hand. *ouch!*

im being way too personal. i shouldnt say these things but there's nothing that comes out of my brain except me being sober and being revengeful and all that. help!

everyone is in a rush buying notebooks, pens and all sorts of stuff and are way too excited about going to school. me on the other hand...well, no comment. hahahahaha. xD how dumb is that? //_+)

if you want someting, you have to sweat it out and earn it.

WARNING: the contents of this post may not be related to the title.

just in case you might wonder, i havent been thinking straight for the past few weeks. clearly, im outta my league. i just want to share to you guys something that i have learned when i watched a classic movie that made it big in the past year.

recently, i watched TITANIC. man, i was crying like a baby. back then, i never payed attention to what the characters in the movie say. back then, i was way too young and what caught my attention was that the boat was sinking and then it split in half and many people died. then, i cried because many people had to die and most of them are children. so young, they had today when they have all the chances in life to succeed and be able to live their dreams, if only everything went well. but sad to say, GOD had to take them back for a reason no one can ever tell me.

anyway, going back...now, i have cried (again) watching the movie because of what the characters said in the movie. now, i have realized that they teach me something that i should've realized the first time i saw the movie but then again, i never really paid attention to them so pardon me if you may.

well, come to think of it, there werent really much quotes that moved me. in fact, some of them are just the words that came out of their mouths in their normal conversation. though i havent seen the movie from the start this time, the scene that i was able to catch was when JACK did a painting of ROSE butt-naked with only "THE HEART OF THE OCEAN" on her. (REFRESH: the heart of the ocean is the heart shaped sapphire necklace given to rose by her fiance, whom of which i forgot the name)

somewhere later, when everybody went looking for rose, her fiance opened the vault and there saw the drawing of rose and a note that she left that said...

now you can keep us both locked in your safe

or something like that. i never really got the meaning of it until it dawned on me that the reason why rose ended up in jack's arms is that, she never really loved that guy. she was just forced to be with him for the reason that he was the one that her mother wants her to marry and that he was also rich.

going out of the topic slightly, rose's family was one of the richest people back in their time. they despise poor people for being poor and that they never mingled with them for the fact that they are poor. for them, they were peasants and dirty and rugged and they never lived a decent life, just like them. but for rose, it was different.

jack changed her entirely and made her realize that everything is equal. in the eyes of GOD there are no rich nor poor people and for that, things should'nt be treated like how the rich people should treat them.

though i made it sound so complicated, but that's one of the things that i have realized while watching the movie.

in everything we say or do, being biased should not be our attitude towards things. we should be fair and equal. sure, money can buy you things that you have never imagined, but money cant buy you real happiness nor love. there are things that are far more valuable and far more important than money or fame can ever give you.

what am i trying to say here? nothing that no one knows. everyone knows that we should all have this kind of attitude but what do we do? we tend to be blind towards these things and that we let our pride consume and then what happens? everything crumbles into pieces and we are all left with no option than to be helpless.

we shouldnt be this way. never...

i cant seem to live on with my life

with all these drama in sight

id rather be run over by a bus and crack my head

than hear whatever she said.

honestly, when starts to open her mouth

everything is going down south!