analysis

as ive posted this morning, i went to my doctor to have my genitals/privates checked coz there is really something wrong with it and i was down right true.

the doctor said i have this "bukol" surrounding my private part and it is causing an infection on my skin that causes it to secrete a puss-like substance, which is not really that foul-smelling like the one i had when i had this fistula up my butt.

before i forget, i would like to apologize to whoever might read this post because most of the contents of this are gruesome and disgusting to hear. sorry, i cant help it. i have to blog it so that, in the future, whenever i get the chance to re-read my old posts, it will remind me of what obstacles life has given me and how i manage to escape from it thanks to my doctors and to my parents who are so supportive of me to allow me to have regular visits with my doctors (both for my surgery and the sickness that i have inherited from them).

moving on, my doctor (MR. RODOLFO JANDOC, which i would like to give credit because without him, i would still have that fistula up my ass right now and i wont be able to sit down comfortably on a chair, making this post), gave me some sort of an antibiotic to make the "bukol" disappear in my system. he said that it was just a normal bukol that i may have acquired through sitting in a very disturbing position (for my privates) or through something that i have ate that caused it or extensive sexual activities, which i doubt would be the main reason why i got this bukol coz frankly speaking, i havent had sex since last Septemeber or some time in the last quarter of last year.

about the puss-like substance, well, as ive said, it has been triggered by an infection due to extensive scratching of my privates (without washing my hands). to give a solution to that problem, he prescribed with me an ointment/cream that would eventually, heal my damaged skin and bring back its natural state in two weeks or so. im sad to say, i had a hard time looking for that cream as to there is limited or it is not available in most of the pharmacies in Dumaguete. i would have to widen my search for that cream coz i have to have it (my privates) checked again in two weeks time. maybe tomorrow, i would have to go the nearest city up north to search for this cream. if i still cant find it, then i would have to go back to him as soon as i can to give me an alternative remedy to my ever so loving skin.

about my surgery wound, well, he said that it was ok. he adds that it was normal for the wound to release puss every now and then since he left it open after the surgery and made it shut close just by steaming it and applying denatured alcohol to the area. man, that experience made me go through hell. if you want to know how it feels when your skin makes contact with denatured alcohol, try to put a single drop at the back of your palm. it will give this burning feeling that you cant understand and all you can think of doing is just scream and cry out for help.

that is in your case, if you wanna try out and experiment what i have just instructed you. but for me? i bit my arm, rolled around in bed, clutched my butt like its the last thing that i can hold on to and moan until the pain subsides. they have to apply at least a spoon full of that thing up my ass. it not only makes contact to my open wound, it also makes contact to my undamaged skin and my asshole.

recall: i said it will you give you a burning feeling.

well, it gave me a taste of hell. it did not only cause me to lie down in bed for hours after it is applied, i have to walk like a duck for week coz it burned up my skin and i have to heal it back the natural way which will take you weeks to accomplish and man, it made me useless for a couple of months. i can barely move freely around, all i can do is just lie down in bed, get up when i need to answer the call of nature or take my meals and i have to go back again to bed to recuperate and rest.

i dont think i can call this the bright side, but a side effect to all these was that, i gained weight. only a couple of pounds though coz my other doctor gave me a very strict diet because during my second operation, they found out that i was diabetes and it caused my first operation to fail. so, what i was forced to do was eat only a cup of rice and a cup of something that would fill my stomach and that is just it. then, i take up four maintainance meds (which is now reduced to three kinds, thank God) and i have to have my glucose level and BP checked regularly. the funny thing was, i get to check my own sugar because my father has his own glucometer and i get to learn to face my fear of pricking myself and see my cute little fingers bleed temporarily.

now, i think i can consider myself a part-time nurse coz not only that i check my glucose level, i also check my own BP. haha. it pays off though and is an advantage you see coz we dont have to call off someone from work at the local health center to have mine, my dad's and my mom's glucose and BP levels because we can check it ourselves. haha. less expenses. :)

well, that is just about enough about it. i have shared more than what i have intended to for my fingers just cant stop tapping the keyboard and my brain just wont stop telling them to tap down everything that it thinks. haha. i hope il get a good night's sleep and so do you, whoever you are who might be reading this. haha. love you all. peace out. :)