thoughts

being able to be secluded and far away from the things that you usually do makes you think of so many other things that are so important to you but you have ignored for the times that you have been so busy doing all the things that made you say that it is you life. in fact, i have realized that the things that i normally do, are just a part of what made me who i am right now. a small part, actually.

the big chunk of my life still lies wherever GOD takes me after i graduate. come to think of it, i dont know if i can really work that carpet at the venue of the graduation. i dont know if im really up to the challenge to finish school and get a diploma for my degree. i dont even know if i can live my life the way it should be, the way that i dreamed it to be. being able to travel the world, get to see what life has to offer and much, much more.

see? thinking has turned me into someone who i never thought would possibly exist. the thinker me. the me that thinks about the future and worries about things that might happen to me in the next few years or whatever. haha. i wanna laugh out loud, i wanna roll around the floor and just be crazy but in the latter part, do i really wanna do these things because that is what and who i am, or am i just doing it just to escape the thought of being so mellow-dramatic?

oh...why was "mellow-dramatic" uttered? haha. i dont really know. i dont even bother if someday, someone would call me by that. mellow-dramatic. sounds kinda nice, heard it in a movie somewhere, and i love what it means. i would agree though, that i am mellow-dramatic. coz i am. i keep on "emoting" all these things that i dont even know if it would happen or not or are they just clear outputs of my imagination when i have nothing to do except think.

sit in one corner, munching on a biscuit, drinking coffee maybe, smoking...staring into the vast nothingness and just enjoying "the moment". i dont know if you can call it a moment, but i do. its the only time i can get to think of things that im not used to think about and its great...for me though coz i think going through your mind and thinking things over would give you a lot of options on how to live tomorrow better than you did yesterday and just have a smashin' good time. peace. :)