issues

me and my heart we got issues...but this post is not about the song "issues" by the saturdays. its my real-life issues.

for one thing, im kinda tired. my family thinks that im the "most incurable disease" ever to exist on the face of the earth.

next is, they think im the "most unbearable person" there is to be dealt with.

next, they think that i am the "most useless person in the whole wide universe".

and then, they think that because i cuss and at times scream at the top of my lungs that i am a self-proclaimed addict. addict of what??

you know, one question that keeps bothering me ever since ive got these issues in my life is...why does my family know what i do and what i dont do and i dont even know about it?

why do they keep on pressing that all i do when i come to Dumaguete is stroll around downtown? take stones and drink my ass out when in fact, i go to school every now and then with a couple of hours or an hour interval? why cant they understand that when i am so stressed out, my blood pressure shoots up and my glucose levels are of the scales and how does it affect me? big time.

my brain wont work, my body shuts down, i get so weak, i get so fragile that every move that i make makes me want to think if suicide...like hanging myself or cutting my wrist, yeah. i think of those stuff. but why cant they just understand that? what does it take to make them believe that everything that i say is true and that i am so confused as of the moment of what to do so that, from now on, they will be able to accept me and things that i do and just let me live my life my way?

i need explanations, i need answers...but nobody seems to bother ask me or help me out. in short, im lost!